So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
