i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He felt like a one man threesome
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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