I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
