I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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