Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
