last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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