In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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