escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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