I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
