The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Farmville is her only friend.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
