I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
