This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
