that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
