when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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