When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
