the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She needs sedatives and a leash
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
