meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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