Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
