I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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