There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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