Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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