I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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