and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
