That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
