i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
