ya dads aren't the best wingmen
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
