Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize