we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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