we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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