Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
