Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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