Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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