I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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