She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
