You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
