gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
