are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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