they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
