Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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