Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
