names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
