About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
