People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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