If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
