Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
