I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
