When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
