I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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