I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
