We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
