If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
