You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize