:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
