Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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