Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
it's like iHOP with fire
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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