yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
