Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Alive.
So much puke
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
