my mouth tastes like poor choices
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize