My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
