Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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