You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
wow bdsm is so cute
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize